Give me a paw, roll over and play dead, go fetch ... none of that cuts the mustard these days.
The masses want to see something new.
Blame it on Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks, America's Funniest Home Videos, and YouTube.
Everyone loves a dog with a special skill.
But where would we be without those televised canine acts of wonder?
What tantalizing tidbits of trivial entertainment would entertain the nation for the next fifteen seconds?
Dogs, both old and new, are under constant pressure to develop new material. They are the clowns that work tirelessly to keep us amused. They have been sent to Earth on a lifelong mission to keep us happy.
It's a dog's life, as the saying goes. But what does that really mean?
When dogs are but wee pups, the seriousness has yet to seep into their bones. Everything is new. The most simple thing brings amazement and the oh-so-familiar tilt of the head ... as if to say, what's up with that?
No one taught that little trick to the new dog. It was a built-in response.
Getting Fido on a skateboard, now that's something new.
Well, as new as skateboards are, that is ... for surely, as long as there have been skateboards, someone's been trying to teach their dog to cruise the sidewalks.
This video of Tillman the skateboarding bulldog has rolled up well over twenty million views on YouTube. Now that's the new American dream ...
In the words of the immortal Joe Strummer, "Plato the Greek or Rin Tin Tin. Who's more famous to the billion millions?"
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde